Jason could not get his lips, his hands, his soft voice, the smell of his body, his contagious laughter out of his head. Wasn't that what he'd always wanted, wasn't that what he'd been born for? It was all for nothing. And who will regret it? His family? Or a world that will change forever? His friends? Why would they grieve for him? A wretched sinner, rejected by God. What would become of him? Would cold stone steps be the last place of his life? He will die. He wanted his enemies to know that sooner or later he would be free and love them himself. A pang of burning guilt was eating away at his soul of passion and sadness. He would just disappear, never see God again, never remember Him, never go to Heaven. Why was he the victim of the demon of lust, who embodied all his sins, all his filthy thoughts, and unfulfilled desires, worsening his self-loathing? Why him? Is it the will of the Almighty? Or was He punishing him for his other sins? Jason bit his lip, feeling the cold tears run down his cheeks.
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